My Form of Rememberance

Look in the mirror. Who do you see? Who is staring back at you.

What is the deep reflection of yourself? What do others see? What will they remember when you pass?

 
                                           COSMIC LOVE FROM THE MOTHERSHIP.

Its that time of year, when you can sleep with your windows open and watch the wind blow your curtains in and out, like the breaths you take. Its then, when you become one with your thoughts and emotions. You analyze what is and what is to come. You feel the beauty of the earth and find peace within yourself. 

May 2nd, 2018. I had just put Michael to sleep. I watched the smile on his face, while I rubbed his back. We prayed, for God to guide our hearts and our dreams. To keep our thoughts pure and love shining through. 

I then come into my room and stare out the window. Through my confusion, doubt, and fear, I found my one definite purpose. The one true meaning of my life. I've had so much static running through my thoughts. I haven't been able to think straight for years. The answer has been in front of me the whole time. Smiling, laughing, playing, loving. 

Having a child, has given me understanding and true meaning of unconditional love. I never felt I had a place in the world until I gave birth. I remember sitting in the hospital, holding this baby, staring at him and feeling so overwhelmed with an emotion I had never felt before. Im not sure how to even describe it. I always had dreams of being a mother. I wanted people to look at my child and think "Wow! Your mama must have been a fine lady!"

I find myself wanting to take on the mother role to others. Giving advice and guiding ways. Being a shoulder to lean on. Being that person someone could call looking for advice, or someone to cry to. To hold no judgement in any circumstance. 

I vow to stay true to my morals. To be a guide to this life I created. To stand by his side and never part ways. To stay strong even in the darkest of days. Be the leader to a new family. For one day, my children and grandchildren, to think of me and smile. To remember me as one, who was full of love and happiness. Someone who put love in every action. Remembered as the person who was selfless and who sacrificed. To be the person who did whats right because its right.  

"I'm a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world." - Mother Teresa